Remembering my grandma Rinner

Yesterday marked 6 years since my grandma Rinner passed away. It weighs heavily on my heart each year, I wish she were here to ask advice. I wish she would have been here when I had Ethan and I wish she could have been able to meet him and hold him. When Ethan was born, there were a lot of unknowns. It was the happiest and one of the scariest/saddest moments in my life. I had much of the happiness that most experience when having a child, replaced with fear...fear of the unknown. It was hard for my family, they didn’t know what to say but they tried and I love them for that. I think often of the advice I would have gotten from my grandma. And of course today, if I could go back, I would tell myself not to worry as much as I did, kind of hard when doctors were stumped and preparing us for the worst. 

I wanted to write a post about her, a place for old photos and just something to be able to look back on it future. Spending the summers in Ohio were some of the best of my life. When I think of childhood, that’s what I remember, our summers in Ohio. We spent every day with her, our dad would go to work and me and my sister would ride our bikes across town to go to her house. We’d go back to my dads for dinner when he got off work to eat, then ride back and spend the evening there until just before dark when we rode back home. Some of my fondest memories with her were sitting on her front porch with her on the swing and my head rested on her arm. She would be doing crossword puzzles and I’d just want to swing with her. We could play cards, go to the lake and get root beer floats on the way home, go to the reservoir and fly kites..just such wonderful memories. She often sent us to the store 2-3 times a day to pick up something she needed and had a bell on her porch that she rang when she needed up for something. I have to admit, it was a little annoying at the time hearing that dang bell go off when we were out playing with our friends, but looking back, it’s something that I giggle about when I think of it. 

Some photos of my grandma and grandpa. In the first photo, they are the couple on the right. They were married in a double wedding. 

Some photos growing up. First photo is my grandma holding me. Second is me, my cousin and my sister playing in the leaves with my grandma behind us..in her curlers. She was so sweet. 

I believe the photos below were taken the last summer I spent on Ohio. I want to say I was around 17 or 18 in these photos. First photo is with my grandma and second is with my grandpa, who also passed a few years after my grandma :( The photo of him makes me smile, he was always a grumpy guy but we loved him dearly. 





My Dad, grandparents and aunt were able to come down when we graduated high school. This was the first time they all met Dan. 

Dan and I also took a break from school and went to Ohio in the summer of 2006 for a break and we got to see my family and grandparents then. 

Dan and I got married in March 2010 and my grandparents weren’t able to make the trip from Ohio to Florida for the wedding due to their health. Dan and I didn’t plan a honeymoon because we were moving to Italy only a short few weeks later. We figured a three year honeymoon in Italy would have to do ;) So about 4 days after our wedding, I flew to Ohio to spend some time there and see them before moving across the pond. 

I remember leaving this day and so so sad. I remember my dad had tears in his eyes as well, we both knew this may be the last time that I saw her. It was heartbreaking but I was so glad to have to gone and spent time with her. This wouldn’t be the last time I saw her, but it was the last time where I sat with her and had a conversation face to face. We talked over the phone when we lived in Italy when we could, the connection was just horrible. Our internet there was so so slow, FaceTime or Vonage rarely worked. I wish we could have found a place to live that had better internet, I wish I would have flown back more to see them. The only time I came back to the states from our time in Italy was about 5 months before we were due to move back. Flights were pricey but I wish I would have paid and come back more often. I came back because my grandmother wasn’t doing well. It was November 2012. I was able to visit with her, sit and talk and tell her how things were going, but she couldn’t talk back and at the time, I wasn’t sure she knew who I was. I came at meal times to help feed her, I sat and held her hand and just spent time with her. This also fell over Thanksgiving, we had thanksgiving lunch at their house with my grandpa and other family, then headed over to the nursing/rehab center she was in. It was nice for her to have us all there at once. My dad made a comment about how he was always her favorite kid and as we all were laughing, she grinned a little and rolled her eyes. I was so glad for that because in that moment, I knew my grandma knew was there. 

This was the first time I saw her this trip. It took all I had not to break down and cry because how she looked. It absolutely broke my heart. 

Some more photos I took while we were there. This first one melts my heart. They spent 64 years of their lives married. So glad I captured this photo. 







This sadly, was the last time I saw my grandma. It absolutely sucked to leave. She had been on a downward spiral for quite some time but I hoped that when we were back in the states in less than 5 months, I hoped to be able to see her again. By the time I got back to Italy, let my dad know that I made it home safely, he had told me she was doing worse and he was heading there to be with her. My heart broke. The next day, November 28th, 2012- she passed away. I’m so thankful I was able to made it back before she had gone, but to this day I am so so sad when I think about her and that she is no longer on this earth. 

I love you gram, with everything I have and I miss you dearly.